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Fanfic: Scattered Roses

Title: Scattered Roses

Pairing: Heechul/Leeteuk

Rating: R

Genre: Angst

Warning: Language, suicidal tendencies

Disclaimer: Not real I made it up. Boys don’t belong to me.

Summary: Love changes people.

Author’s Note: I have no idea what number entry this is for me for the challenge. 25? Anyway it is for prompt 053 Puppies Heechul/Leeteuk. This is based on personal experience. The text and flashback are, at least. Me being Heechul not Leeteuk. A condensed version at least of what really happened.

 

 

                The bright light filtering through the hotel curtains irritated his eyes. Ignoring the light was becoming impossible and he was too lazy to roll over to face away from it. Groping along the nightstand he felt for his phone to check the time. He never understood why the sun insisted on rising so early. It really should respect people and their need for sleep. He frowned when he saw he had two text messages from Eeteuk that he had gotten around three in the morning.

                                ###Are you awake?###

                                ###I have been crying since Thursday but no one cares.###

                                ***Why have you been crying?***

                He sent the reply and rolled out of the bed. Heechul use to love traveling for his job even though it didn’t pay much. Despite the small amount going into his bank account every pay check he had enjoyed seeing different parts of his country. Now all he could do was worry about waited for him when he got home. It was a terrifying thought he might come home only to find his heart scattered in pieces and not the warm arms he was use to.

                Today was the day he would be heading home to his lover. If nothing had changed his lover would be waiting for him with his big smile. After most trips his angel would lead him into their room and take him to bed. Spending a week apart from each other could do wonders for a couples sex life. There were times he didn’t know which side of Leeteuk he would encounter when he got home. Usually one of the boys did their best to intercept him and warn him.

                Heechul couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the boys. Leeteuk’s little puppies. When he had fallen in love with him he had known the boys were part of the package. He still was not sure where Leeteuk had found all of them, whenever he asked he had replied that not everything that was broken had to stay that way. Siwon, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Yesung and Kyuhyun. Five broken boys the angel was intent on fixing.

                Loving the boys had been easy. He teased them by acting snooty with them but they knew he cared. His smile faded with that thought. He looked in the mirror over the dresser and scowled. He had been different once before. Right now his hair was short and black, acceptable for his place in the world. His clothes were dark colors, usually suits. If he went outside, he’d blend right in with all the other Korean men walking down the street.

                The Heechul he used to be changed hair style and color at a whim, would fly from one mood to another. Brightly colored and outrageous clothing once filled his closet. The Heechul he used to be took no crap from anyone. His attitude had said diva and demanded such treatment. The Heechul he was now didn’t stand out. Didn’t scream “Look at me!” The Heechul he was now worked a normal job and simply took it when he was shoved around.

                Heechul missed himself he realized. When had things changed so drastically? When had Heechul ceased to exist so this thing stood in his place instead? He felt sick. The change had been so slow he had not realized what was happening. Had the others noticed and never said anything? He thought of Kyuhyun, whose head was always in a book or engrossed with a video game. Siwon had finally become interested in girls and was always out with one. Yesung had started going to college No, the boys had started growing up, living their own lives. It wasn’t their place to notice.

                The hotel phone rang causing him to jump in surprise. It was his wake up call, his train left in two hours. Emptying his mind he headed for the shower. Over thinking things could get one in trouble and this new Heechul did his best to avoid trouble.

 

                Heechul stared out the window of the train, fascinated by how fast the world was going by. The colors blended and it was hard to pick any one thing out. If he was part of all that would he disappear into it? Would he cease to exist to the world? Shaking himself he looked back to his laptop. His screensaver had popped up while he was distracted, it was a picture of he and Leeteuk during one his birthdays. They looked happy, arms wrapped around each other, cake covering both their faces. His hair had been red then. There was a tug in his heart; this was before he changed.

                Laying his head back he closed his eyes. There was that saying that love killed slowly. He had never believed it, thinking love made you strong. Now he believed it, believed it with his entire being. Love had been killing him for at least a year now. Who was to blame? Was it Leeteuk for being how he was? Was it his fault for not being able to fix Leeteuk like Leeteuk fixed everyone else? Or was it because he stayed when he should have left?

 

                Heechul fought to ignore the annoying sound of his phone ringing. He was exhausted after working both his jobs earlier in the day. He was thankful his new job was starting next week and he could finally quit the two minimum wage jobs he had for the one. Recognizing the ringtone he reached over and hit reject. Kangin was such a prick. He was probably drunk somewhere and needed a ride. Hopefully he wouldn’t get arrested this time.

                When his phone went off for the fourth time he sat up in his bed. He growled seeing it was three in the morning. A symbol on his phone let him know he had a voicemail. Shit. He had forgotten Leeteuk was with Kangin tonight. He would never understand why those two were best friends. Calling his voicemail he felt dread settle into his stomach.

                His first voicemail was time stamped at 1am.

                “Hyung, I am at BVS with Leeteuk, that new club by his place. He’s wasted and being a jerk. He keeps calling me names, hitting me and telling me to fuck off. People are staring. I need your help. Call me back.”

                Heechul scoffed. Kangin was twice his size. Why couldn’t the prick lift him up and shove him into a cab? He went to his next voicemail.

                “Heechul you fucking bitch. Eeteuk is passed out on the bathroom floor. I’m sick of his mother fucking ass. I can’t get him to get up and every time I try to he calls me names.”

                Pussy.

                “I’m leaving him just so you know so you may want to come get him. I’m taking a fucking cab home and forgetting about him. Peace out.”

                Rage filled him. Kangin was going to leave his best friend passed out in some bathroom? That would make Leeteuk easy prey for any guy who came along. This reminded him of a voicemail he got from Kangin a few months before. A voicemail stating Leeteuk had tried killing himself by taking a lot of pills and that he was leaving him in bed. He was going to kill Kangin next time he saw him, fuck how much Leeteuk loved him.

                He had hurriedly dressed, grabbed some sweats for his boyfriend knowing the skimpy clothing he liked to wear when he went out and a couple of water bottles. Sure enough when he reached the club he found his lover passed out where Kangin said he would be, a guy was leaning over him, massaging his thigh.

                “Unless you want to lose the hand I’d fuck off right now if I were you.”

                The man ran from the restroom. Sighing, Heechul kneeled beside the drunken man and found he was sleeping instead of passed out.

                “Heechul? What are you doing here?”

                “Came to take you home.”

                “Where’s Kangin?”

                “He left you here.”

                “Why’d he do that?”

                “He said that you were being a bitch to him calling him names and hitting him.”

                “And you believed the idiot? Why do you believe him every time he tells you something? Do you love him more than me? Do you want him? Is that it? Do you want to fuck him?” Leeteuk slurred as he tried to get to his feet.

                “No. I am just repeating what he said to me. Here put these on, its freezing outside.” Heechul said holding out the sweats.

                “What are those?”

                “Clothes. Put these on over what you are wearing.”

                As Heechul thought he’d be, his lover was dressed in very tight, low cut pants and a why wear it in the first place shirt. He helped Leeteuk balance as he slipped into the warmer clothes. Wobbling a bit Leeteuk tried to walk to the door. Heechul grabbed his arm and tried to pass him a water.

                “Drink this will you?”

                “Why would I do that?”

                “I’m hoping it will help. Just fucking drink the thing.”

                Leeteuk pouted but did as he was told. “What’s going on? Where are we going? Where’s Kangin?”

                Heechul growled in frustration. “We are going to your apartment. Kangin left you here.”

                “Why would he do that?”

                “I told you. He said you were being mean to him and he got sick of it.”

                Leeteuk snorted. “And you believed him?”

                It was always a big circle when Leeteuk got like this. The same thing over and over. Leeteuk took his phone out and Heechul snatched it from his hand.

                “Hey!”

                “You are not texting or calling anyone while you are like this. I don’t feel like dealing with it tomorrow.”

                He slipped the phone into his pocket. Finally reaching the car he tried to convince his boyfriend to get into the back seat to lie down. Leeteuk sometimes made it hard to drive when he was drunk and in the passenger seat.

                “No! I wanna sit up front up with you.”

                “Whatever I just want to go home.”

                He buckled him into his seat and got into his own.

                “Where’s my phone?”

                He shook his head. A frustrating loop when he drank.

                “Why didn’t you let me die then? I want to die, why won’t you let me die?”

*************************************************************************************

                Heechul ducked the flying phone.

                “It’s all your fault. Why did we have to come here huh? So you could see some stupid Japanese rock band? Was it worth it huh? I hope it was. I hate you for taking me away from my babies. This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t have made me come. I told you I didn’t want to go. I kept saying I had a bad feeling now look.”

                He flinched at the accusation. Leeteuk had been drinking earlier in their evening. He hadn’t stopped him, they were on a short vacation. It backed fired with a simple phone call. Eunhyuk called to say Donghae had broken his ankle running away from some muggers. Never mind that it probably would have happened if there were home or not. He knew his boyfriend would never forgive him.

                “I will never forgive.”

                Surprise.

                “I couldn’t live without one of my babies. I would rather die. My poor baby. I want my baby.” He sobbed.

                Long after Leeteuk cried himself to sleep, Heechul stayed sitting in the bed. He fought off sleep. He wondered how many lovers had to sit up some nights out of fear that if they shut their eyes, they’d wake up to a cold body next to them in morning.

 

                After leaving the train station he bought roses. Leeteuk said he liked the way they seemed to brighten their room. When he arrived home, the boys weren’t there to warn him. They were probably out. Slowly he made his way to the door and took a breath. This was always the hardest part. Not knowing what he’d find when he opened the door. It petrified him. Hand shaking, he opened the door.


Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a spider bite )
rrongrrong
Dec. 6th, 2010 02:35 am (UTC)
oh wow o.o
i'm as scared as heechul for fearing that someday teuk made it and ... cold ...

there's a big change in heechul and this story managed to portray it in au, yet, still them, love this
thegazette5
Dec. 6th, 2010 05:49 am (UTC)
Thank you very much.
( 2 comments — Leave a spider bite )